The Road
by BonitaBreezy
Summary: Fate or not, it was Roxas' front door on which Axel chose to knock that night. Though neither of them were aware of it at the time, that one simple action, spurred by a split second decision, would change both of their lives forever.


Disclaimer: a statement, document, or assertion that disclaims responsibility, affiliation, etc.; disavowal; denial.

It was pouring rain the first time they met. The weather report said it was the worst rainstorm Twilight Town had seen in over fifty years. When he looked back on it, Roxas always wondered if it was fate. Honestly, what was the likeliness that Axel would happen to be in that exact are of town on that exact night that bore the worst storm in over half a century? Fate or not, it was Roxas' front door on which Axel chose to knock that night. Though neither of them were aware of it at the time, that one simple action, spurred by a split second decision, would change both of their lives forever.

It was eight o' clock on Tuesday night, and Roxas Strife was quickly dashing around his house, trying to make sure all the windows were closed. He'd been in the middle of looking to make dinner when, out of nowhere, a freak rainstorm started. His couch was half soaked from only a few minutes of the rain pelting through the window. It had been so nice all day, and there had been absolutely no warning or an imminent storm. He entered his bedroom last, dismayed to find that the window in front of his desk was wide open, and the homework that had been halfway finished was now completely soaked and destroyed. Muttering obscenities under his breath, Roxas threw the sopping papers in the trashcan and pushed the window shut, flipping the latch to lock it.

The sound of the rain pelting against the window was so loud; he almost didn't hear the knocking on his front door. It was only when a rhythm was knocked that he realized it wasn't rain and ran down the stairs to get the door. Who in their right mind would be out in weather like that? He threw the door open and stared in shock at the man on his porch. He was extremely tall, to the point where his head would just barely pass under the doorframe, and skinny to boot. He looked like the kind who ate when he got the chance. He was wearing dirty, raggedy jeans that were a bit too large around the waist with a large hole in one knee. His jacket was made of green wool and looked like it had once been very nice and pretty expensive, but was now just as dirty and frayed as his jeans. A black scarf was hanging out of one of the pockets, ready to be pulled out and used at a moment's notice. His bright crimson colored hair was soaked and hanging limply around his face, almost to the middle of his back with the weight of the water. His earnest looking eyes were the brightest green Roxas had ever seen, accented by a small tattoo underneath each of them. In short, he was gorgeous, but also very obviously homeless.

"Jesus Christ, you're soaked. Come on in." He looked almost shocked, opening his mouth as if to speak, before he snapped it closed and stepped inside. It was obvious that he was seizing the moment before Roxas changed his mind. Roxas shut the door and slid the lock home, knowing somewhere in the back of his mind that he was probably really, really stupid for doing this. All the stranger danger rules from grade school were persistently pushing against the edges of his mind, but the voice of his mother and her urges to do everything he could for his fellow human being was stronger.

"Uh…thanks. Thanks a lot," the man spoke, shifting awkwardly and shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm sorry to bother you like this, but…well…I didn't really have a choice, what with the storm and all…"

"It's not a problem," Roxas assured him, holding his hand out for a shake. "My name is Roxas."

"Axel," the redhead returned, shaking his hand a bit awkwardly, as if it wasn't something he did very often. Then again, most people probably didn't treat him like an equal due to his situation. His skin was freezing cold, making Roxas gasp aloud.

"You're freezing. Come on, you can use the shower. I'm pretty sure my brother has some clothes he left here that might fit you. You can wear them and I'll wash this stuff for you." Roxas led the speechless man to the bathroom, grabbing a few towels out of the cupboard underneath the sink. He left Axel in the bathroom, heading to his small guest room to search the closet for the clothes he was sure Cloud had left behind from his last visit. Cloud was probably a good five inches shorter then Axel, at least, but he always wore his sweatpants really long so he could roll them up at the waist to lengthen or shorten them to his own desire. In short, his brother was fucking weird. Roxas grabbed the sweatpants and a plain white beater and hurried back to the bathroom.

When he got there, he discovered that Axel had already gotten into the shower, leaving his soaked clothes on the counter in a heap. The shower curtain was slightly sheer, and Roxas could see his outline behind the curtain, face upturned to the spray of water. He blushed, looking away quickly. He left Cloud's clothes on the other side of the counter and grabbed Axel's wet ones, escaping the bathroom quickly. It was not right to perv on some poor unfortunate soul that he'd happened upon. Not right at all. Even if he was totally fucking gorgeous.

Roxas shook his head at himself in annoyance, heading towards the laundry room to throw Axel's clothes in the wash. He checked through his pockets, feeling only a little bit guilty as he did so. He didn't want to ruin anything by washing it on accident, right? A pack of cigarettes and a silver Zippo lighter with the initials 'A.S.' inscribed on the side. He also found a pocket knife and a wallet with only a few bucks, a Nebraska driver's license, and a health card with a list of allergies, but with the contact number scratched out. A well-worn and slightly wet paperback was recovered from the back pocket of his jeans. The front cover had ripped off, and Roxas could see that, underneath the title (The Road by Jack London) was a note.

'_There's a difference between wanderlust and running.'_ Roxas furrowed his eyebrows at the cryptic message, but ultimately decided it was none of his business anyway. He set the book aside as well. After patting down the rest of Axel's clothes and finding nothing, he threw them into the washer and started it up before going to wash his hands. To be honest, he had no idea what had been on those clothes, and he didn't really want to think about it too much.

He figured, with how skinny Axel was, he was probably pretty hungry. Judging by the few bucks in his wallet and the cigarettes, he had some pretty bad priorities about the way he spent his money, too. But Roxas wasn't there to judge. He was just there to be a little bit helpful. So he headed into the kitchen, and after checking Axel's allergy list, set about making dinner. He was a pretty simple cook, so he hoped Axel wouldn't mind that. He made some chicken and pasta. Throw a little cheese Ragu on top, and voila. Good eating.

He was just turning off the stove when Axel came downstairs, clad in the clothes Roxas had left for him. Roxas had to turn away quickly with the pretense of putting everything together to keep from drooling. As good as Axel had looked before, now that he was clean and wearing that beater he looked even better. His skin was very pale, which Roxas found odd, since he most likely spent most of his time outdoors. And despite how very skinny he was, his arms were nicely defined with sinewy muscle, leading down to large hands. He had to fight the urge to imagine those large hands on his body.

'_Stop it!'_ he scolded himself harshly. _'Think with the proper head! Pull yourself together.'_

He grabbed two plates from the cupboard and handed one to the redhead, trying not to show his inner-turmoil. He could act like a functioning member of society. He could. Really.

"Help yourself," he directed at Axel, turning to serve himself. He set his plate on the table and then returned to the fridge as Axel took his invitation and went with it, filling his plate quickly and taking a seat at the table.

"You want something to drink?" Roxas asked. "Let's see…I have orange juice, Coke, milk, and water."

"Coke," Axel answered between bites. "Please," he added as an afterthought. Roxas grabbed two cans of soda and sat down across from the redhead, who had cleared close to half his plate already.

"So, what brings you to Twilight Town, anyway?" Roxas asked, watching as the redhead ate ravenously.

"Huh? Oh, just passing through. I'm always just passing through. I travel all over the country, work my way from place to place. The economy has made that hard, though. I've been having a hard time with it lately."

"Yeah, I can imagine. It's hard enough to hold a stable job. Why do you travel so much?" he asked.

"I like it," Axel said. "There's always great stuff to find in the tiniest places you would never even think of. I've got nothing to tie me down, nothing to hold me back. Sometimes, like today, it's really hard. But there are some genuinely good people out there, and I'd rather be on the hard road and relatively happy then stuck somewhere in a dead-end job that I hated."

"You're really brave," Roxas said thoughtfully. "I wish I was brave like that."

Axel shrugged and smiled a little. "Well…it could be called bravery. My brother says it's stupidity."

"So, how long are you gonna be in town?" Roxas asked.

"Just for the night," Axel said with a shrug. "I hadn't even planned on staying that long, but the freak storm out there kinda blew all my plans out of the water. Does it always rain like this?"

"Hardly ever, actually," Roxas said with a shrug. "I don't know what the hell this is about, really. It came completely out of nowhere. It was supposed to be clear skies all week."

"I guess I'm just lucky, then." Axel grumbled. "Though maybe I am. If not for the rain my prospects tonight wouldn't have been nearly as nice. But really, thanks a lot."

"It's really no problem. I'd want someone else to do it for me," Roxas said with a small blush. "And, hey, if you ever come back through, feel free to stop on by. You're welcome whenever."

Axel set his fork down for the first time since food had been set in front of him, cocking his head to the side. "Why are you being so nice to me? You don't know me. For all you know, I could be waiting to steal all your shit or, like, rape you or something."

'_Can't rape the willing'_ Roxas thought for a moment before scolding himself again. "I don't know. There's just something about you. In your eyes. I know I can trust you. I know you're a good person."

Axel smiled at him, and then shook his head in exasperation. "You're gonna get yourself murdered with that kind of attitude, kid. But I guess I luck out from it, so I can't really complain." He finished the last few bites of his food, reminding Roxas to eat as well. The blonde almost laughed when Axel glanced toward the stovetop where the rest of the food sat.

"Go ahead and help yourself," he told the redhead. "Take as much as you want."

Axel didn't need telling twice. He was up from the table and across the kitchen in a few seconds. Roxas had to wonder how long it had been since he'd had a real meal. He wondered if maybe he should have made more. Axel came back with another full plate. He cracked open the soda Roxas had brought him, took a long drink, and then continued eating.

"So, how old are you?" Roxas asked curiously.

"Twenty-five," Axel answered. "What about you?" Roxas was kind of surprised. He wouldn't have guessed that he was that old. He certainly didn't look it.

"Sixteen," Roxas answered, watching the redhead carefully as his head snapped up to stare at him, green eyes wide.

"What? Fuck, you're just a kid! Where are your parents? Are they gonna freak out if they find me here?"

"No worries, there," Roxas sighed. "I'm an emancipated minor. My parents died about a year ago, and I didn't want to go into the system or be a burden on my leftover family, so I got emancipated. My uncle pays for the house and my food and stuff, and I have a part-time job to pay for the other things."

"Oh," Axel mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right. I miss them, but I've learned to cope with it."

"My parents are dead, too," Axel offered. "They got hit by a drunk driver when I was seventeen."

"Sorry." Axel shrugged it off and continued eating.

"So, you're what, a junior in high school?"

"Yeah," Roxas nodded. "Almost done. The last day of school is in a month or so. I'll be seventeen in August."

"Oh, hey, me too. Well…not seventeen, but I mean, my birthday's in August."

"What day?" Roxas asked, his interest piqued. Axel took another bite of food and washed it down with a swig of Coke before he answered.

"Thirteenth."

"No way, me too!" he exclaimed excitedly. "That's so cool."

"No shit?" Axel asked, finally looking interested in something other than food. At Roxas' nod, he raised an eyebrow. "What's the likeliness of that. Born the same day, nine years apart, and we both end up right in the same place in a freak rainstorm."

"Must be fate," Roxas joked.

"Yeah," Axel said quietly, reflectively. "Must be."

The washing machine buzzed and Roxas excused himself to go change the load. He threw Axel's clothes into the dryer and started it up before heading back upstairs. Axel had finished his second plate of food and appeared to be done. He was standing at the sink, washing off their plates when Roxas got back.

"Oh, hey you don't have to do that," Roxas protested.

"Look, kid, you've done a lot for me tonight. It's the least I can do."

"Don't call me kid," Roxas grumbled, taking the newly cleaned plate from Axel's hand and wiping it dry with a cloth before putting it back in the cupboard.

"I've got ten years on you. I think I have the right."

"Nine years," Roxas corrected. "And you don't have the right. My name is Roxas." Axel chuckled, flicking some water at him before agreeing.

"All right, fine. Roxas, it is."

"Thank you," he said seriously, putting the last dish back in its place.

"I have homework I have to do now," Roxas sighed. "The rain ruined it."

"Hey, far be it from me to stop you," Axel said with a shrug. "I'll just wait for my clothes to dry and then I'll be out of your hair. Do you think maybe you have an umbrella lying around somewhere that I could have?"

"What?" Roxas asked, kind of shocked.

"Well, if you don't it's not that big of a deal. I know you've done a lot for me already…"

"I was under the impression that you'd be staying until the rain passed," Roxas said, raising his eyebrow questioningly.

"Roxas, the way this rain is going, it'll probably continue all night."

"Yeah," Roxas said, his voice clearly stating that he'd already thought of that.

Axel stared at him for a long moment before a small grin split his face. It made him that much sexier, and Roxas almost melted. He had to pull himself together. It was entirely inappropriate for him to be lusting after Axel. He was way too young for Axel. Way. Too. Young. For now.

"You're something else, Rox. Thanks. A lot. I know I keep saying that, but I really, really mean it. You are a really good person."

"I'm just trying to live the way my mom would have wanted me to," Roxas told him quietly. "Come on, I'll show you the guest room. You look exhausted."

"That's a nice way of saying I look like shit," Axel said with a laugh.

"No," Roxas disagreed. "I don't think that's possible for you. But you do look worn out." Axel fell silent, and Roxas kind of wished he'd been more discreet. He hadn't meant to make things awkward. He opened the door to the guest room and ushered Axel inside.

"Well, this is it. Not much, but my brother usually stays here when he visits and he's kinda simple like me. My room's right across the hall, if you need anything just let me know. Okay, you know where the bathroom is…I have school in the morning, and I'll be gone by seven a.m. So when you get up feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen. And you don't have to get right out. Hang out as long as you want."

"You're too good, Roxas," Axel sighed.

"It's not a problem," Roxas repeated for what seemed like the millionth time. "Good night."

"Good night," Axel responded. He fell back on the bed, and much like Roxas suspected, he was asleep before the blonde was even out of the room.

When Roxas got home from school the next day, Axel was gone. The only proof that he had actually been there were Cloud's clothes folded neatly and left on top of the bed in the guest room.

It was three years before Axel came back. Roxas often thought about the redhead, and usually he wondered whether he had been real. Had any of that actually happened, or had he imagined it all out of loneliness? He'd almost accepted the fact that Axel was a figment of his imagination when he showed up again.

It was a Saturday night and Roxas was curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn watching a movie. Several of his friends were out partying like college students were wont to do. Roxas had been invited along, of course, but after a week of classes and going out the night before, he'd decided that he'd rather stay home and relax. This is why he was kind of surprised when a knock sounded on the door. Usually his friends would use the bell to make some ridiculous and annoying tune. Grumbling under his breath, he trudged to the front door and swung it wide open, getting ready to demand to know what was wrong. His voice caught in his throat, though, when he recognized the man on his porch.

He looked a little older. His hair was shorter than it had been the last time they'd met, just past his shoulders rather than to the middle of his back. He was wearing a thin hoodie instead of the jacket he'd had last time. Other than that, though, he appeared just as Roxas remembered him. Absolutely gorgeous.

"Axel!" he said in surprise. "Come on in. You must be freezing, where's your coat?" He was vaguely aware of how much he sounded like a mother hen, but he couldn't work up the energy to actually care. Axel stepped inside, rubbing his arms to warm them up a bit.

"Got stolen a few weeks ago in Seattle," he shrugged, as if to show it was no big deal. "I figure if the guy was desperate enough to steal that old thing right off me, he can have it."

"Where have you been?" Roxas couldn't help but ask.

Axel shrugged. "All over the place. I'm a traveler, Roxas, it's kinda what I do."

"No, I mean…well…" he felt kind of stupid asking, the more he thought about it. They didn't really know each other, and he had never really known that Axel would actually come back. "Never mind."

"No, wait, tell me," Axel demanded with a frown.

"It's just….you were gone for a really long time. I was starting to wonder if you'd ever actually been here at all."

There was a long pause before a little grin broke over Axel's face. "Wait a second. Are you telling me that you _missed _me?" he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"No!" Roxas denied, a blush erupting across his cheeks. "I…worried, a little bit. It's been three years, after all. You were just gone when I got home that day."

"I had to catch a ride out of town," Axel shrugged. "But I'm kinda touched that you worried about me, Roxas. If you really wanna know where I went, I can tell you. But, if you don't mind, you think I could use your shower for a bit?"

"Oh, yeah, of course! You remember where it is?" Axel nodded and headed upstairs.

"Hey…you don't, by chance, still have those sweatpants, do you? Cause they were wicked comfy," Axel stopped halfway up the steps to ask.

"Yeah, actually, I do. I'll go get them for you."

He didn't tell Axel that he'd purposely hidden them so his brother wouldn't take them, just in case Axel came back. He already seemed weirdly attached. He was sure, after his weird questioning, that Axel wouldn't come back again. God, why did he have to be such a nutcase? He went to his bedroom and retrieve the clothes that Axel had worn from his night stand. Due to the slight chill in the air, he also grabbed a hoodie from his closet. Just like last time, Axel was already in the shower when Roxas got there, his clothes piled on the counter. Roxas avoided looking at the silhouette through the shower curtain as he switched the clothes out and headed down to the laundry room.

He reflected on Axel as he started up the washing machine. The last time he'd been there, he'd been hesitant and unsure, almost awkward. Now, he acted as if he and Roxas were old friends, teasing and making requests. It wasn't that Roxas minded, far from it, but he did think it was a bit odd. He went back upstairs and started thinking about what to cook. He hadn't actually had dinner yet, even though it was almost ten o' clock at night. He just hadn't felt like cooking and had been planning on eating a cup-o-soup or something simple, but he almost felt like he owed it to Axel to make real food. However, upon searching the kitchen, he realized he didn't really _have_ anything to make. He'd meant to go shopping at some point that week, but he just hadn't gotten around to it.

While he was trying to figure something out, Axel came downstairs, clad in the clothes Roxas had left for him. The hoodie was a bit too short in the arms, but too baggy around the waist. Roxas couldn't help but laugh at him a little bit. He grinned back, running a hand through his wet red hair.

"Yeah, I know. This is the story of my life, though. I used to work in an office building and I had to dress the part, so I bought women's blouses instead of men's dress shirts because they fit me better."

"So you're saying you're built like a woman?" Roxas snorted.

"You laugh," Axel said with a glare, "but don't think I don't see the way you look at me. You _like_ it." Roxas had no way to respond to that, so he stared in open-mouthed shock for a moment before turning away with a blush.

"So. Are you hungry? I was gonna make some food…but I don't think I have anything to actually cook. I could order in, if you want."

"Ah, no, you don't have to do that…" Axel spoke up, shifting uncomfortably.

"Well, I haven't eaten dinner yet and I'm hungry, so either way, I'm gonna order in. Do you want some, or not?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess if you're ordering in anyway…"

Roxas opened the drawer closest to the refrigerator and pulled out a stack of take-out menus. He handed them off to a bewildered Axel. The redhead spent a moment flipping through the menus before he looked back up at Roxas.

"Jesus, why do you have so many menus?"

"I'm a college student, what do you think?" Roxas snorted. "I don't cook unless I have to, usually."

"Well, yeah…but there are four different Chinese menus in here. And three pizza places."

"Don't you worry about that," Roxas brushed him aside. "Just choose one."

Axel stared at the menus for a few minutes, almost like his choice for takeout was a life and death decision. Finally, he separated out two and deliberated for a while. Just when Roxas was about to get completely fed up and choose for him, Axel set one of the menus down and held the last remaining one out to Roxas.

"The orange chicken," he said decisively. Roxas nodded, casting him an odd glance before dialing the number from memory. The girl who answered the phone recognized his voice and immediately asked if he wanted his usual (Beef Lo Mein), and he had to quickly interject to order for Axel as well before she hung up on him.

"Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've ordered out for Chinese food?" Axel asked seriously. "Like…how old am I? Twenty-eight…it's been nine years. Nine years since I've had Chinese food. Jeez, not since I was in college…"

"You went to college?" Roxas blurted out before he could stop himself. Axel sent him an amused glance and nodded.

"What, you think 'cause I'm a homeless guy, I'm not smart?"

"No!" Roxas said quickly. "That's not what I meant, I swear! It's just…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Axel waved him off. "I was only there for one semester before I dropped out anyway."

"Why'd you drop out?" Roxas asked, heading off to the living room and prompting Axel to follow him. He sat on the couch and grabbed the popcorn bowl that he'd cast off when Axel showed up. He offered it to the redhead, who obligingly took a handful.

"It's…kinda complicated," Axel said, before popping some of the popcorn into his mouth. "I was born and raised in Nebraska, and that's where I went to college as well. I was doing all right in my classes and all…but I hated my life there. I was depressed and felt listless with my life. There was this girl…well, never mind that. Anyway, I just hated the way my life was going, and I finally realized that if I kept on the same track, I was going to hate my life for the entirety of it. So I left. I got into my car and drove away. I drove all the way through the night until I ended up in Indiana. I wrote my friends a letter and sent it to them and I haven't looked back since. Somewhere along the way, my car broke down. I didn't even have enough money to eat, let alone to get my car fixed, so I just left it. After that I hitchhiked everywhere. And the rest, as they say, is history."

"What about the girl?" Roxas asked, his head cocked to the side.

"Forget about her. She's not important," Axel answered brusquely.

"Sorry," Roxas said quietly. What he'd thought was an innocent question had ruined the dynamic they'd had going. They were quiet until the food came, to the point where Roxas started the movie again just to get rid of the silence. It was no use, though, because he couldn't even concentrate on it. Not long after the food got there, he and Axel went to bed. By the time he woke up the next day, Axel was gone. Roxas wondered if he'd ever see him again.

In the wake of Axel's mystery girl and quiet departure, Roxas had quite forgotten he'd asked Axel where he'd been on his trip. In fact, he'd pushed it so far out of his mind, he didn't remember until he got a letter in the mail almost a month later, postmarked from Neptune, New Jersey. The letter had a list of cities paired with states, and then at the end, an explanation.

"_I did promise to tell you where I'd been during my time away… The time spent in Ohio, I was in jail. Two years, earned from a bunch of minor charges. Sorry I was gone so long. Hopefully the next time won't be so far in the future._

_Axel."_

Receiving that letter almost made Roxas cry tears of joy. He wasn't quite sure why, but the thought that Axel would be back made him happier than anything else had made him feel in a long time. After that first letter came, he got a postcard about once a week, each from a different place, wherever Axel happened to be at the time. A small message was written on each, usually pretty random, telling a small anecdote from his day or a fact about his life or himself. By the time Axel came around again, Roxas felt like he knew him very closely.

It was early April over a year later, and Roxas was walking in a diagonal across his front yard with a few bags of groceries in each hand when he saw a dark figure on his porch. He slowed his walking, but didn't stop, not quite sure whether he had to legitimately freak out or not. The figure stood as he approached, and Roxas felt his pulse quicken. He stepped back quickly.

"Who's there?" he demanded, trying to make his voice sound as threatening as possible.

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Roxas. It's just me, Axel."

As he stepped closer, the streetlights caught his face, lighting up his features for Roxas to see. The blonde's slight panic turned into happiness and he stepped dropped his shopping bags to the ground and threw his arms around the redhead's waist. Axel laughed a bit, patting him on the back softly before stepping back. Roxas blushed a little bit, aware that his action was probably weird.

"Uh, sorry about that," he said, rushing to pick up his abandoned groceries. "I don't know what I was thinking, really…Come on in." He unlocked the door and let them both inside.

"How long have you been waiting out there?"

"Not long, "Axel shrugged. "Half an hour or so."

"I'd say that's kind of long. There's a key stuck to the underside of the mailbox, for future reference," he told the redhead as he headed toward the kitchen to put away the groceries.

"You amaze me, Roxas," Axel laughed. "Telling me where your key is like that. One would think you trust me or something."

"I do," Roxas said simply. "You've never given me a reason not to."

He set the bags on the kitchen counter and turned around again to look at Axel, who was watching him curiously from the front hall. Roxas retraced his steps until he was standing before the older man, looking up into his face.

"I kinda feel like you're family, in a weird sort of way," he admitted.

"Like a brother?" Axel asked, eyebrows raised in a way that said he already knew the answer. Roxas looked at the man appraisingly, still every bit as attractive as he'd always been, and shook his head.

"No. Not like a brother." Axel nodded in a way to show that he understood what Roxas was really getting at. Roxas gazed up at the redhead's face for a while longer, their eyes connecting. Warmth spread throughout his entire body, and he suddenly wished he wasn't so short, or Axel wasn't so tall. It put far too much distance between their lips. He wondered if he'd been staring at Axel's lips, because suddenly, the redhead was backing away and shaking his head.

"Maybe I shouldn't stay here. Maybe this is a bad idea," he said, taking one more step towards the door.

"Why is it a bad idea?" Roxas asked, advancing only one step further, so as not to chase him out the door. "Do you not find me attractive? Is it because I'm a guy?"

"No, it's not that. I'm okay with you being a guy. And you're very attractive."

"Then what is it?" Roxas demanded, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're attracted to me and I'm attracted to you. Why can't we do anything about it? What wrong with that?"

"You're too god damn young, Roxas!"

"I'm twenty years old!" Roxas snapped back. "It's perfectly legal. And age shouldn't matter, should it? I think I know you better than I've ever known anyone. Why would you tell me all those things about yourself if it didn't mean anything?"

"I don't know!" Axel yelled. "God, Roxas, I don't know. I guess…this place felt more like home to me than anywhere else. I wanted that back. Do you think I want to live like this? Always moving, never having anywhere to go when I want to feel welcome and loved?"

Roxas threw his arms around Axel in a tight, desperate cling. He rested his head against the man's chest, listening to his heart beat rapidly. "You don't have to, Axel. You don't. You can stop moving. You can stay here, with me. I can love you. Shit, I think I already do."

"No," Axel said, shaking his head. "I can't. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to have good things and be loved, but I want it so bad I can't help myself sometimes. I'm a selfish bastard!"

"Why?" Roxas demanded."Why do you think you don't deserve it?" He had a sudden memory of the first time he'd met Axel, and the book. The book with the inscription. _'There's a difference between wanderlust and running.'_

"Because of Naminé!" Axel snapped. "God…because of her…my whole life changed." Roxas took his hand and lead him into the living room, sitting him down on the couch.

"Who's Naminé, Axel? What did she do?"

Axel shook his head back and forth, back and forth, gripping his so very red hair in his hands. He was slumped over, looking every bit broken that Roxas suspected he was inside. He'd probably been so for many, many years. He wondered what this Naminé girl could have done to him to make him feel like he had to run. It didn't matter what it was, he decided. He was gonna find her and slap her.

"She didn't do anything. God, Roxas, she didn't do anything except be perfect and wonderful. I met her my junior year of high school, through a mutual friend. She was beautiful and talented and funny. She looked a lot like you, actually. Blonde hair, pretty blue eyes. I was in love with her. We went to the same college, and we were gonna get married when we graduated.

It was…it was November of our first semester and I got the flu. I called Naminé to tell her that I wouldn't be around for a while, and she insisted on coming over to take care of me. She was driving to my apartment, and she hit some black ice. Lost control of the car and spun right into oncoming traffic. She died, Roxas, and it was all my fault."

Roxas felt slightly sick, and he sent a silent prayer of apology to Naminé, wherever she was, for thinking about slapping her. Axel had slumped forward even more, and judging by his shaking shoulders, he appeared to be crying. It broke Roxas' heart to see him like this. The writer of so many cheerful notes and anecdotes shouldn't have been so miserable. Roxas sat down and held him in his arms, resting his chin against Axel's shoulder.

"It's not your fault," he whispered to him. "God, Axel, that's not your fault at all. You couldn't help getting sick. You couldn't help that she loved you so much she wanted to take care of you. You couldn't help that ice being there. It was not your fault at all. I didn't know Naminé, but I do know what it's like to love someone. You just want them to be so, so happy, no matter what. Even if it doesn't include you in it. She would hate to know that you're wasting your life running. I hate to know it. Forgive yourself for something you're not responsible for. When you do that, live your life. If you decide you want me in it…I'll be waiting, okay? I'll be right here waiting for you. If you decide that you don't…well, you know how to get a hold of me. I'll leave it up to you on how you'll tell me."

With that, Roxas kissed his cheek softly and stood up. He ran a hand through Axel's hair in what he hope was a comforting gesture, and he started to leave. Once in the doorway, he turned back to look at Axel, who had lifted his head to look at him. Their eyes met for a moment, and through the definite sadness, Roxas thought that, maybe, he could see where his words had impacted Axel.

"Help yourself to anything in the kitchen, and to the shower, and anything else you might need. You know where it all is. I'm suddenly drained, so I'm going to head up to get ready for bed. And…in case I don't see you tomorrow, which seems to always be the case, just remember that I love you, okay? You'll always have a home here."

Roxas left the room to let him reflect on that and pull himself together. He headed up the stairs and got ready for bed, all the while listening for Axel. He didn't hear Axel moving at all, but at least he hadn't just walked out and left. He'd never realized how broken Axel was, underneath it all. He wished so much that he could help, but he knew it was something that he wasn't involved in. Axel would have to fix it himself. All Roxas could do was try to be there for him, as much as he would allow. He woke up in the middle of the night to hear Axel moving around the house. He wanted so much to go to him, but he forced himself to stay in bed. He didn't fall back asleep until Axel went to bed. As he suspected, the next morning when he woke up, Axel was gone.

"You know, Roxas, I'm not sure this whole deal is healthy."

Roxas looked up at his older brother with sad eyes before taking a drink of his beer. His twenty-first birthday had passed nearly a month before, and it had been months since Axel had walked out of his life. He wasn't sure if it was for the last time or not, but he continued to wait. Cloud had tried to convince him to date some people in hopes of cheering him up, and he'd finally gotten so annoyed, he'd told Cloud about Axel.

"I love him, Cloud, and that's not gonna change. He just needs to figure his life out, and then he'll come back. I know he will. There has to be a reason he kept coming back, and I know he'll do it again."

"Roxas, this guy is way too old for you!" Cloud insisted, slapping his hand on the table to emphasize his point.

"He is not. Just nine years. It's not that huge of a difference."

"Roxas, that makes him thirty! He's older than I am!"

"I don't care!" Roxas snapped back. "Dammit, Cloud, I don't care. I love him, okay? What if Tifa was nine years older than you? Wouldn't you love her just as much?"

Cloud looked away from his, blue eyes scanning the whole bar before they came back to focus on his brother. Roxas looked back with fierce determination, waiting for his judgment. Finally, he sighed, and his shoulders slumped. Roxas knew he had won.

"Okay, you're right. I see your point. But…don't waste your life waiting for him, Rox. You have to keep living, too."

Roxas nodded, but he knew it was partially a lie. He loved Axel, and he would wait as long as it took.

"Happy Birthday, Roxas!" the exclamation was loud and shocking, making the blonde jump a mile into the air. He brought a hand up to rest over his rapidly beating heart as he looked around at all his friends crowded into his living room, and the balloons shaped like a giant '2' and a giant '4'. There was a table in the corner with a cake and presents stacked around it.

"Ohmygod, guys. Thanks," he said, reaching out to hug the closest person, his friend Olette. She kissed his cheek and squeezed him tightly.

"Happy Birthday, Roxas. We're you surprised?"

"Yeah, definitely," Roxas assured her. "How'd you do it?"

She shot him a mysterious smile. "I have my ways, don't you worry about that."

"Well, thanks Olette. This is amazing."

He moved on to his other friends, hugging and chatting and laughing. All of his closest friends were there. His cousin, Sora, his girlfriend Kairi, and Riku, their best friend. Olette, Hayner, Pence, Cloud, Tifa, Leon, Yuffie, Rikku, Paine, Yuna, Tidus, and Wakka. It was only about an hour before Olette declared it was time for Roxas to open his presents. He was reaching for the very first gift when a knock sounded at the door. He went to go get it, but Yuffie waved him off, heading towards the front door. Roxas reached over to grab a gift again, when Yuffie reappeared.

"Roxas, there's some guy here who says he knows you. " The words 'really tall redhead' had hardly passed her lips before Roxas was racing towards the front door.

Surely enough, Axel stood awkwardly in the doorframe. For the first time in memory, he looked completely put-together and not at all like a homeless person. His jeans were clean with no holes, and he wore a green turtleneck under a brown leather jacket. Unlike the last time Roxas had seen him, over three years ago, he stood tall and proud. Despite the fact that he was now thirty-three years old, he didn't look any older than twenty-five.

"Hey, Roxas," he greeted, hands stuffed deep in his pockets.

"Hi," Roxas responded. It certainly appeared that Axel had gotten his life together. But Roxas wasn't sure why he was there. Either way, he wanted Axel's happiness, but God, he really hoped Axel wanted him to be a part of it.

"I…uh…I thought a lot about what you said the last time we saw each other. It…it really helped a lot. I figured everything out about a year ago…I got a job and a place to live and everything has been turned around. I have you to thank for it. So…thanks a lot."

"You're welcome," Roxas responded, leaning against the doorframe. He stared up at the man he'd loved for years, waiting, hoping that he'd say he loved Roxas too.

"And…uh…I was wondering…about the other stuff you said, you know. If that still applies."

He looked away now, a blush lighting up his cheeks. Roxas' heart soared with elation, and he grabbed the front of Axel's jacket, pulling the man close. Axel looked down at him, and he was suddenly reminded of how very tall Axel was. It would be sort of awkward, but they'd make it work. He was damn sure of that. He rose up on his tiptoes, wrapped his arms around Axel's neck, and pulled the redhead's face the rest of the way down to meet him.

The kiss was better than anything Roxas could have imagined. He thought his heart might explode with the feel of Axel's warm lips against his own. Axel wrapped his own arms around Roxas' waist and pulled their bodies flush together. As if on psychic agreement, they parted their lips and let their tongues meet. Roxas felt that, right in that moment, he could die happily. Axel's hands left his waist and made their way down to his thighs, and suddenly, he was lifted off his feet and pressed against the wall. He wrapped his legs around Axel's waist and let himself get lost in the kiss. Things were just on the verge of escalating into flat out dry sex when the sound of someone clearing their throat caught his attention.

He pulled away from Axel with some difficulty and looked over to see all his friends crowded around the door from the living room to the hallway. They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds before Roxas unwrapped his legs and Axel released him and he slid to the floor, still cleaning to Axel for support.

"Well," Olette said loudly. "I think it's about time for the party to be wrapping up. Happy Birthday, Roxas."

And with that, all his friends marched past, wishing him a happy birthday as they went. When the last person, Cloud, had left (shooting Roxas warning looks the whole way), Roxas turned back to look at Axel.

"I'm so happy you've figured everything out. I'm happy you're happy," he said.

"I love you," Axel responded, capturing Roxas' lips once more. Roxas almost melted with happiness to hear the words.

"I love you, too," he answered between kisses. "Happy Birthday."

Axel pulled away from him, long enough to let out a laugh.

"Happy Birthday, Roxas,"

"This is the best birthday present ever," he said with a big smile.

"Oh really?" Axel asked. A wicked grin lit up his face, a look that made places in Roxas' body tighten with desire. "Because I can think of something better."

Roxas let out a small moan just at the thought, before he jumped up into Axel's arms, wrapping his legs around Axel's waist again. "You know the way to the bedroom," he hissed in Axel's ear.

As they stumbled up the stairs together, Roxas couldn't help but think that it was his greatest birthday ever, and that it would always be his favorite.

Yuuuuup. So I don't quite like the ending. But it's 2:30 in the morning, and I've got homework to do for my 11:45 class tomorrow, so it'll have to do. Maybe you'll be less harsh on it then I am. Or maybe not. I dunno, let me know what you think.


End file.
